Author bio

George Carlin

George Carlin - book author

George Denis Patrick Carlin was a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and philosopher.

Carlin was especially noted for his political and black humor and his observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a narrow 5-4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's right to regulate Carlin's act on the public airwaves.

Carlin's mid-2000s stand-up routines focused on the flaws in modern-day America. He often took on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture.

A disciple of Lenny Bruce, he placed second on the Comedy Central cable television network list of the 10 greatest stand-up comedians, ahead of Bruce and behind Richard Pryor. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and was also the first person to host Saturday Night Live.

George Carlin is the author of books: Brain Droppings, Napalm & Silly Putty, Last Words, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George, George Carlin Reads to You: An Audio Collection Including Recent Grammy Winners Braindroppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, More Napalm and Silly Putty, Class Clown, The Best of Brain Droppings, What Am I Doing in New Jersey


Author books

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Description
01
George Carlin's been working the crowd since "the counterculture" became "the over-the-counter culture" around 1967 or so; his new book, Brain Droppings, surfs on three decades of touring-in-support. It's the purest version of book-as-candy that one could imagine, serving up humor in convenient, bite-sized packages. Snack on chewy one-liners like "A meltdown sounds like fun. Like some kind of cheese sandwich." Or: "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." Brain Droppings also contains highlights from Carlin's concert repertoire, and that more than makes up for the occasional spray of pointless nihilism. Tell us, George, what exactly were you going for with "Kill your pet" and "Satan is cool"? Quick--hide the paper before Daddy sees it! Still, if you're a fan of this sarcastic semanticist who's given Bad Attitude not necessarily a good name, but at least a comfy bank account, by all means rush out and snag Brain Droppings. Carlin's book melts in your mind, not in your hand.
02
I THINK I AM, THEREFORE I AM. I THINK.
In Napalm & Silly Putty, George Carlin, the thinking person's comic, offers a hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations on God, language, death, pets, driving, food, sports, airplanes, advertising, news, businessmen, and much, much more!

* Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
* If people climb Mt. Everest because it's hard to do, why do they go up on the easy side?
* With a little effort, oxen can be trained to genuflect and whistle softly in the moonlight.
* How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that its a spy satellite?
* If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance.
* Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.
* No one quite knows what's next, but everybody does it.
* I think it would be great if you could make a guy's head explode just by staring at him.
* Am I the only one who's noticed that the Lone Ranger and Tonto never got their laundry done?


You'll learn what Carlin thinks of saving the planet, his suggestion for revamping the prison system, and why he prays to Joe Pesci. Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistible assortment of quips, probes, thrusts, and verbal ordeals that are as smart as they are infectiously funny.
03
As one of America’s preeminent comedic voices, George Carlin saw it all throughout his extraordinary fifty-year career and made fun of most of it. Last Words is the story of the man behind some of the most seminal comedy of the last half century, blending his signature acerbic humor with never-before-told stories from his own life. Carlin’s early conflicts, his long struggle with substance abuse, his turbulent relationships with his family, and his triumphs over catastrophic setbacks all fueled the unique comedic worldview he brought to the stage. From the heights of stardom to the low points few knew about, Last Words is told with the same razor-sharp honesty that made Carlin one of the best-loved comedians in American history.
04
Now in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premier comics George Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin delivers everything that his fans expect, and then adds a few surprises. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
05
Three comedic classics in one, by the legendary George Carlin. Includes Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

For four decades, George Carlin has been one of America's favorite comics, known as much for his willingness to take on taboo subjects as for his absurdist wordplay. As an author, he has proved equally popular: With combined sales of more than two million copies, Carlin's three books of razor-sharp and hilarious observations have topped bestseller lists nationwide. Now, for the first time as an ebook, Hachette Books proudly collects all three volumes--When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, Napalm and Silly Putty, and Brain Droppings--into one hilarious omnibus.
06
Great comedy at a great value! This gift set gathers three timeless Carlin recordings including two Grammy® winners, plus an interview from public radio’s Fresh Air.

If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That’s our thinking behind this collection. This laugh-out-loud program includes:

Brain Droppings • 2001 Grammy® winner
Acerbic observations, manic musings, in-your-face questions, witty word play, and more “droppings” from Carlin’s singular brain. “I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.” “Why are there no recreational drugs taken in suppository form?”

Napalm & Silly Putty • 2002 Grammy® winner
Carlin invents Past-Tense TV (“Got Smart,” “Father Knew Best,” “It Was Left to Beaver”), crusades for the Center for Research into the Heebie Jeebies, and suggests that “if the shoe fits, get another just like it.”

More Napalm & Silly Putty
Everything that wouldn’t fit on the first Napalm recording—like “A Day in the Life of Henry VIII,” “Sports Should Be Fixed,” and candid takes on life’s little moments (“I’m beyond the nice day”), all delivered with wicked glee.

Plus a bonus interview from Fresh Air.
07
He's back! In a voice more cantankerous and comically pungent than ever, George Carlin spouts off on everything from British royalty ("A Day in the Life of Henry VIII") to auto racing ("Sports Should Be Fixed") to American politics ("Don't Blame the Leaders").

With his manic mind and motor mouth in high gear, he rants against anyone who tells him to "have a nice day" and skewers the euphemism epidemic ("To be honest, some of this language makes me want to vomit. Well, perhaps 'vomit' is too strong a word. It makes me want to engage in a involuntary personal protein spill"). When Carlin's in a more reflective mood, he reveals, "I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it," and ponders the really big questions, like "Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?" and "Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love? "What his candid take on "life's little moments" lacks in political correctness, it more than makes up for in gut-busting laughs. He's the guy who dares say what the rest of us hesitate even to think. And he does so in ways that are often raunchy and always riotous.
09
With his signature dark and daring humor drawn from everyday life, the world at large, and the vagaries of the English language, George Carlin offers his creative finest in The Best of Braindroppings. From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.